Girls’ Weekend
Brockenhurst, New Forest
Our cab dropped us at the gate of our campsite at 8pm in the dark. It had rained while we were on the train. I pulled my rolling suitcase packed with camping gear over the gravel and puddles with my daughters following behind. The site warden had some questions, but we set-up our tent in the moonlight drinking hot chocolate from our thermos and didn’t care what anyone thought.
How do you teach girls to be independent and love their own company? I think about this a lot these days with two young daughters that are already fun, intelligent and spirited. And I’m conscious that the years left to build self-esteem before the adolescence strikes are numbered.
These two girls also worship their father. And I get it, they won the lottery with their Dad. At home, he’s engaged, generous and patient all while having a wildly successful career. When it’s time, I hope they look for someone like him in the world.
But before then, they will to go on a long misshapen journey to get to know themselves, fail and fail again, find their power and learn to be comfortable alone. You can’t tell a child to do this; it needs to be shown.
Which is why this year I started new tradition: Girls’ Camping Weekend.
As a family, the four of us spend a lot of time as a unit and we love it. We eat nightly family meals together and travel often - everywhere from fabulous hotels to sketchy campgrounds that I think are an adventure.
This weekend, it was just the three of us out in the forest, setting up our tent in the moonlight and making it comfortable inside. We poured over local maps and planned our route to look for wild ponies and pubs with triple cooked fries. It gave us space for our own dynamic. Our own jokes. Time to eat messy croissants inside the tent, which would drive their father nuts. The weekend wasn’t perfect. Things went wrong. They’re 5 and 7. But they’ll remember our first Girls’ Weekend, especially after we’ve done five.
Why is it important? It gave them space from their hero daddy to feel the girl power. The youngest cried every time we checked in with daddy - space is healthy. I need them to be in touch with the idea that they can do this on their own. Their mom can do this on her own. She loves solo adventures.
They can’t yet articulate that the way I see myself in the world, as their mother, imprints on them. The way I prioritise work, my health and the things I love will be the blueprint for them. They might rip up the blueprint, but they’ll have one. You can’t tell your child to be independent and learn to love their own company, but you can model the behaviour.